Things Not To Say to a Pregnant Woman

I’ve been able to keep the pregnancy a secret from everyone except my co-workers.  (They kinda noticed the sound of me puking my guts out.)  One of the main reasons is that I’d prefer people not to comment that I’m “showing already” because uh yeah… I’m not?  It’s just belly fat?

Other things not to say:

-your horror stories of bleeding and being on 3 months of bedrest. (Why do people even tell those????)
-your story about your sister/friend/distant cousin who miscarried. (Thank you… I’m already terrified enough of that!)
-asking “Are you pregnant?” unless you can physically see the baby descending. (Cue Dave Barry…)
-anything incredibly gross like tales of your daughter’s night as a trauma nurse, especially when said pregnant lady has morning sickness or is trying to eat. (I seriously have people at work who do this.)

I managed not to throw up yesterday… and threw up so violently this afternoon that it hit my skirt. (Thank God I had spare clothes in the car…)

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